Weirdly Normal

They were twins. Fraternal twins to be precise, seeing that they couldn’t have been identical although they looked it. You see, one of them was female and the other was a male. They were inseparable, always hanging around the other when they weren’t actually standing next to them.

Normal grew up to be the favourite amongst her peers and their parents. She almost always wore black. Even if she wore any other colour, she wasn’t one to experiment with her clothing and always played it safe. She was always dressed properly, her hair always in place, combed and pinned back. The only thing out of place was her fringe, and it irritated her to no end.

On the other hand, Weird, with his wild and curly messy hair, played pretend with himself, carrying out social experiments in his head. He always wore mismatched or rainbow socks, and ended up being made fun of for the very reason. Because he was bullied so much by his peers, he grew up to hate them and people in general, never really making any friends.

Though Normal was shy, she was always surrounded by people. They included her in all their circles, even though she was always standing in the wings and never in the spotlight. Weird always hung around Normal, never talking to anyone but her, never enjoying being in other people’s presence and was always lost in his own thoughts.

All through elementary school, Weird was bullied. For being different and simply too weird. And because Normal was too shy to speak up, there was no one to stop it. Their parents were too busy working to notice what was happening in their home. Although they spent time with their kids over the weekends, playing games and cooking together, there really never was time to sit down and talk about school or work. Weekends were days when they all just wanted to have fun and forget about the week. There were a few times Normal tried to talk about Weird’s situation and would bring up the topic, but Weird would always nudge her to keep quiet.

Middle school didn’t stop the bullying, but it did lessen it. While Normal found her place in society, Weird could never be a part of it. He would never fit in and he found he didn’t want to either. He also found that sticking to Normal helped in his self-preservation. As long as he was with her, no one could say anything. She never let anyone. He didn’t like it one bit, having to rely on her, but he admitted that getting only dirty glares was much better than the verbal attacks. She knew he hated relying on her and feeling like a coward, but she was happy that he wasn’t suffering as much anymore. If being with her helped him then she wouldn’t let him be alone.

When high school started, things were different. No one had time to bully Weird anymore. Frankly he was glad, as it allowed him to worry about things other than what was going to jump out at him as soon as he turned the corner. Everyone was stressing out, especially Normal. Normal fell ill more often and Weird was more than happy to take care of her. Weird still hung around Normal, as was his habit, even though no one bullied him anymore. No one noticed him anymore; they didn’t glare or try to trip him. It was as though he had never existed. Weird quite enjoyed his invisible status, even if it meant sitting in a corner, in his own little world, at someone’s party. Normal was invited to a lot of them, and she always dragged Weird along for company. She was always on the fringes of the groups she was a part of and it left her feeling lonely at times. Weird sensed this and was always dragged along willingly.

She never admitted it, and she never wanted to accept it, but there were times when she wanted to blame Weird for her loneliness. Because he was always hanging around she never had any close friends. And because she wanted to make sure nothing happened to him and so had him stay within her line of sight, she was angry at herself for blaming him. This predicament, and all the stress of school, affected her health adversely. Despite Weird nursing her to health each time she broke down, Normal never recovered completely. Her guilt ate at her continuously and in the end, she was so sick she had to take a year off before college.

Weird was adamant about taking a year off too and going to college with Normal. Normal wouldn’t agree to it, telling him she’d only feel guiltier if he did.

Reluctantly Weird got himself into an art college. Their plan had been to study biology and get into genetics or microbiology. But if he was going to do this alone, he thought he might as well choose to study what he really loved. It wasn’t easy being alone all of a sudden. He had to talk to people, interact with the very species that’d made fun of him for most of his life. But he found that people were like-minded and didn’t approve of bullying others just because they were different. He found that they each had their own eccentricities and that it didn’t stop them from doing anything. It didn’t stop them from being who they were.

Weird finally felt free. Most of all he was happy. Seeing his happiness, Normal felt happy too. She started to get better. She loved to hear Weird talking about his day and what he did with his friends. She loved that he could express himself so freely in front of people, his new friends and the faculty, but most of all their parents and even her. She loved that there were people Weird didn’t hate and could talk to. She loved that there were people who didn’t make fun of his mismatched or rainbow socks, who actually appreciated them instead. Weird finally felt like he belonged.

Two sides of a coin

Normal and Weird are the same.

Who is the odd one?

An Uprooted Being

Just like plants, humans have roots too. And just like a plant's roots, human roots play an important role in our growth as individuals.

This piece stems from a common question and an attempt to understand my missing self.

"So, where are you from?"

I've been asked this question so many times in college. Everyone asks this to every other one. In a way, it's a question of curiosity. Do you fit the stereotypes that exist around your place of origin? Are you one of those nomads, meaning someone in your family is either a diplomat or serves in the armed forces? Or are you simply an NRI?

I've said different answers to different people. 

Sometimes it's just 'Delhi', assuming they're asking where my 'hometown' is, which generally translates to "Where do you end up every summer to visit family?"

Sometimes it's 'Bangalore', referring to my city of residence and where I've spent most of my life so far.

Most of the times though I end up answering with this: "I was born in Delhi, but I've never lived there. Then before I was one we moved to the States. I lived there for 7 years. After that we moved to Bangalore. And we're still here. So, you can figure out for yourself where I'm from."

There are times I go into a rambling story about my ancestors and where they're from, but that's only when people are asking for it.

Although people say it's quite clear where I'm from, all the while failing to mention the place they think so, I really don't feel the same.

In college, culture plays an important role in your work. A lot of motifs and illustrative styles emerge from the culture you would have immersed yourself into. This holds true even for patterns you weave into textiles, your choice of colours, even the look and feel of a product/piece of furniture you might create.

Culturally I've never been rooted to anything in particular. I've read about different cultures from across the world, spanning various time periods. While they're all really interesting, I didn't find myself wanting to follow any of them. I should be following my own culture, whatever that is supposed to be, but with my formative years being spent in one place and the rest of my life elsewhere, I've kind of gotten lost. Not to mention my parents are more spiritual and disciplinarian, with Western ideologies but Indian upbringing. Culture did not take up a very big part in my growing years. Maybe if I'd spent more time with my grandparents, I might have known more about 'my culture', but that's all pointless speculation.

Although I walk around like a lost soul with a part of my identity completely missing, it's not like I know nothing about my cultural ways. I just can't seem to associate myself with it. I'm not sure I ever will.

Only the Paranoid Survive

I've lived for 19 years being paranoid. So far nothing bad has happened. But then nothing has happened either.

Being paranoid has its perks. Every time you venture out at night, you make sure there are at least 10 people with you. Sometimes you don't venture out at night at all, just to be on the safe side. Not even if there are 10 men along with you. You don't want those creepy, lusty men on bikes after you now, do you?

Available as different thoughts, fears and intensities, paranoia can be related to health too. A mosquito bit you this morning? Better to get tested for dengue and malaria. Sneezing are you? It could be the symptom for hundreds and thousands of fatal diseases. With paranoia, you wont have to worry about all of this. Why, you ask. Only because you would've taken the necessary precautions to avoid all these horrifying situations.

Paranoia would also cause you to question your parents plans for anything, from a trip to the movies to a trip to some exotic beach resort. You will begin to question what they are saying when they shut the door to discuss something private (and if you happen to open the door without knocking you'll find out they were talking in a foreign language... A sure sign you should prepare for the worst).

As you can read, you live in constant fear of anything and everything (for instance, I'm in fear of my parents reading this right now). Now, you must be wondering "Well, nothing bad happens... But what about the good stuff? What about letting go and having fun?"

No. As a person who's constantly paranoid, you tend not to. You don't go for parties at night, because someone might try to harm you while walking back home, if not at the party itself. You tend to stay away from people till you think they deserve your trust (which might take them time before they deserve it). You don't even go for group dinner outings for fear of getting home too late, thus giving you insufficient time to do your work. You can't even make it to your friend's surprise midnight birthday party, even if her house is 5 minutes away by cycle.

Paranoia can prove to be quite an annoyance when you're wondering where your social life went. But it's easy to get rid of too. All you have to do is take the leap of faith. And maybe, if you keep a tiny little bit of leftover paranoia, you can manage to survive in the jungle we call society.

Slow, Efficient Torture

DISCLAIMER:
All events (...and characters) in this post are purely fictional. And they are highly exaggerated. Any resemblance may be coincidental, but should not be taken as offensive. Only because it is mostly not true.


There is nothing worse, as a vegetarian, than to eat a piece of fruit only to find a worm or caterpillar in another you were about to eat just then.

It's even worse if one of your family members cut the fruit into pieces. Worst case scenario: you just happen to have paranoia. It feels like everyone in your family is out to get you.

Have you ever felt lost in a conversation your parents are having? Specially because they're talking in a foreign language? Thanks to all that paranoia you'll probably assume they're plotting to kill you or get rid of you in some really unthinkably crazy way, like studying continuously for the rest of your already miserable life (no breaks at all) or maybe send you to some college you don't want to go to.  Or sign you up for classes that are pointless (which you agree to, thinking it might help after all...see they've already brainwashed you). For all you know, you may be right... You might want to reconsider taking those foreign language classes, using the excuse your younger sibling needs help.

Younger siblings, though they too are on the parents 'To-Torture' list, are equally bad. They hope and pray that one day you will go away, leave home, anything, just so they can have the room all to themselves. And if you ask why, they won't know. They just want you gone, since living in the grandparents' room was never an option. I guess it never will be, considering how spooky the room can get at night...

Now you're probably thinking that's all of the family, since grandparents are too sweet to kill anyone and all the others like aunts or cousins don't really figure as immediate family... But you're wrong. Grandparents are evil in their own way.

Face it. Your grandparents are old. They can't see, hear, taste, smell or feel anything properly. They are not what they used to be. So how do you know what you're eating is safe? How do you know they know what they are putting in the food? How can you be sure they know the difference between chalk, turmeric and rat poison?... You'll be lucky if you have fit and healthy grandparents. They'll probably try to kill you some other way. Something unusual... If you've got that family that's high on discipline and craziness, you know that a caterpillar in your food is a message of near doom.

But you should know that there's probably someone behind all this evil, someone out to take revenge, by turning your family against you, just so that they don't have to do all the dirty work. It's slow, efficient torture...

Victims of Menopause

This was written when I was in a state of mind where I was being forced into studying subjects I didn't exactly want to... I was quite confused about what to do in life (which is very normal everywhere, except at the school I went to, and so I was quite worried like my parents). The behavior my parental units were showing was not helping with the stress I was putting on myself.
But at the end of the day, I love my parents and they cannot be more supportive of me than they already are.
And yes they have read this. At least my mom did.

WARNING:
This is purely for your entertainment and cannot be used as an argument against your parents.
Don't bother trying.
Only because it is a piece of exaggeration. And perspective.



Menopause is the beginning of the end in a human. Well, almost. Now you'd think it's all those adult males and females bordering on the 50's who are the victims I'm talking about. But it's not. It's actually their kids. Possibly, and sadly, their teenage kids.

Scientifically, menopause brings about crazy mood swings in adults (all thanks to hormonal imbalances much like in a teenager). And the brunt of these mood swings is borne by the kid.

Your parents are cranky. Then they are happy. The next minute they are screaming at you for something you didn't do. Then they give you a hug and forgive you. And it goes on, while you stand in the midst of it all with your own teenage-sized problems. All the changing behavior is enough to drive you absolutely crazy.

You wake up one morning, bright and cheerful. Your mom's been having a bad morning, who knows why. While you're minding your own happy business, she begins yelling at you to hurry so you can finish your homework or study. So you do just that by swallowing breakfast and staying in your room with an open Chemistry book.

Until your dad comes in. He's been sleepy and sort of happy so far. He's just up to wish you 'Good morning'. But he sees the mess and starts complaining about the mess and tells you to clean up immediately. Again, you do just that. And if it's not those two daily complaints, it's probably something to do with household chores or how India can't win because they are horrible at cricket or about your future and choice of college with all the necessary prepping to be done...

You're stuck between two, not one, but two adults in menopause. It gets weirder when your mom suddenly walks in while you're studying, just to give you a hug you never even asked for. It's as if she's near her death. It's that creepy.

This just goes to show that it is us, the adult population's kids and teens, who are victims of menopause. Not them.

Hemidactylus

It's a brilliant creature, the Hemidactylus. As prehistoric as it sounds, it lives on today, causing the most unnatural amount of chaos in people's lives. I warn you to stay away from the people it affects rather than the poor thing at all. It does absolutely nothing (except eat up all the mosquitoes, as far as I know) and yet everyone gets in a frenzy as soon as they see it. I would know. I've been faced by many. It's not as rare as it sounds and I'm pretty sure you've seen it too. At least once. They are usually solitary, or so I've seen. And I'm happy. If they were more in number at a time, the screaming would never stop, and that would be absolutely painful.

As sadistic as I may sound, it is one of the perfect ways to scare a girl mindless. Maybe even a guy, just to see his ego crumble before the sight of it. Animal lovers need not worry. They are perfectly harmless, and not much harms them either, except maybe humans or a natural predator. You could find them in cities, villages. No matter where you go, you'll find one if you look hard enough. Except maybe at a posh 7-star hotel. Or a cold place. They don't do well there.

You don't even have to run halfway across the world to see one. You don't need to go to the zoo either. I don't think they keep one there, forget more (at least not the species I'm talking about). You could find one at home!

Which is exactly how I came to be writing this. I saw one at home, after a rather long time. The panic it caused in my mom, who refused to sleep in her room because of it (she ultimately did, though). The things I had to do to help my mom throw it out (a stun gun - basically a spray bottle with water. I had to spray it with water to knock it out so my mom could sweep it off it's feet). But it disappeared (the stun gun didn't work... a myth after all...). So it's still in the room... maybe...

No, it's not a cockroach, though I guess that might have made sense if we were anti-killing-of-animals and did not use 'Hit' to exterminate them.

No, it's a lizard. Your friendly, regular, house-mate, which usually belongs on the garden wall...
Told you it's brilliant...