Victims of Menopause

This was written when I was in a state of mind where I was being forced into studying subjects I didn't exactly want to... I was quite confused about what to do in life (which is very normal everywhere, except at the school I went to, and so I was quite worried like my parents). The behavior my parental units were showing was not helping with the stress I was putting on myself.
But at the end of the day, I love my parents and they cannot be more supportive of me than they already are.
And yes they have read this. At least my mom did.

WARNING:
This is purely for your entertainment and cannot be used as an argument against your parents.
Don't bother trying.
Only because it is a piece of exaggeration. And perspective.



Menopause is the beginning of the end in a human. Well, almost. Now you'd think it's all those adult males and females bordering on the 50's who are the victims I'm talking about. But it's not. It's actually their kids. Possibly, and sadly, their teenage kids.

Scientifically, menopause brings about crazy mood swings in adults (all thanks to hormonal imbalances much like in a teenager). And the brunt of these mood swings is borne by the kid.

Your parents are cranky. Then they are happy. The next minute they are screaming at you for something you didn't do. Then they give you a hug and forgive you. And it goes on, while you stand in the midst of it all with your own teenage-sized problems. All the changing behavior is enough to drive you absolutely crazy.

You wake up one morning, bright and cheerful. Your mom's been having a bad morning, who knows why. While you're minding your own happy business, she begins yelling at you to hurry so you can finish your homework or study. So you do just that by swallowing breakfast and staying in your room with an open Chemistry book.

Until your dad comes in. He's been sleepy and sort of happy so far. He's just up to wish you 'Good morning'. But he sees the mess and starts complaining about the mess and tells you to clean up immediately. Again, you do just that. And if it's not those two daily complaints, it's probably something to do with household chores or how India can't win because they are horrible at cricket or about your future and choice of college with all the necessary prepping to be done...

You're stuck between two, not one, but two adults in menopause. It gets weirder when your mom suddenly walks in while you're studying, just to give you a hug you never even asked for. It's as if she's near her death. It's that creepy.

This just goes to show that it is us, the adult population's kids and teens, who are victims of menopause. Not them.

Hemidactylus

It's a brilliant creature, the Hemidactylus. As prehistoric as it sounds, it lives on today, causing the most unnatural amount of chaos in people's lives. I warn you to stay away from the people it affects rather than the poor thing at all. It does absolutely nothing (except eat up all the mosquitoes, as far as I know) and yet everyone gets in a frenzy as soon as they see it. I would know. I've been faced by many. It's not as rare as it sounds and I'm pretty sure you've seen it too. At least once. They are usually solitary, or so I've seen. And I'm happy. If they were more in number at a time, the screaming would never stop, and that would be absolutely painful.

As sadistic as I may sound, it is one of the perfect ways to scare a girl mindless. Maybe even a guy, just to see his ego crumble before the sight of it. Animal lovers need not worry. They are perfectly harmless, and not much harms them either, except maybe humans or a natural predator. You could find them in cities, villages. No matter where you go, you'll find one if you look hard enough. Except maybe at a posh 7-star hotel. Or a cold place. They don't do well there.

You don't even have to run halfway across the world to see one. You don't need to go to the zoo either. I don't think they keep one there, forget more (at least not the species I'm talking about). You could find one at home!

Which is exactly how I came to be writing this. I saw one at home, after a rather long time. The panic it caused in my mom, who refused to sleep in her room because of it (she ultimately did, though). The things I had to do to help my mom throw it out (a stun gun - basically a spray bottle with water. I had to spray it with water to knock it out so my mom could sweep it off it's feet). But it disappeared (the stun gun didn't work... a myth after all...). So it's still in the room... maybe...

No, it's not a cockroach, though I guess that might have made sense if we were anti-killing-of-animals and did not use 'Hit' to exterminate them.

No, it's a lizard. Your friendly, regular, house-mate, which usually belongs on the garden wall...
Told you it's brilliant...

Ode to the Mutant Cheeseballs

Another 10th grade... fantasy?

Once upon a time my sister,
Ate a cheeseball and got a blister.
Then she spit the cheeseball out
And my sister began to shout.
For she was in extreme pain.
Soon enough it began to rain
Millions of cheeseballs everywhere.
My sister scared, ran away from there.
The cheeseballs started to move around
Looking for weapons on the ground.
The mutant cheeseballs had come to take revenge.
That's when I saw a cherry lozenge.
I grabbed it and put it in water boiling,
Till it became a syrup, thick and spoiling.
Luckily there was a huge amount.
"Will it defeat them?", I began to doubt.
At this moment I couldn't stop to think.
So I took a few balloons to the sink.
Filled them all with cherry syrup.
Suddenly, in came my friends, saying "Wassup?!"
Looking around at the big mess outside,
"Let's kick cheeseball butts!", they cried.
Everyone grabbed buckets full of balloons,
Went outside to find cheeseballs as big as the moons.
Freaked out a bit, but went into Kung fu mode.
I don't know if this story is worth becoming an ode.
Soon it was cheeseballs versus cherry medicine.
Finally my sister decided to pitch in.
Balloons and balloons and some more,
With cherry syrup, covered the grassy floor.
I must say it was awesome fun,
Until we realized the job was not done.
You see, the cheeseballs were now immune to cherry.
We searched frantically for some other flavor - if possible a berry.
Then my friend began to hunger
Told us "I'd get a snack before I starve any longer."
I went in the kitchen with her feeling sunk.
Opened a cupboard to find Lemon Sour Punk.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!", I screamed with ecstasy
"The sourness of lemon will kill all of thee!
Everyone! Come here and grab a Nerf gun,
It's gonna be a game of aim, hit and run!"
We cut the Sour Punk into small little pieces.
Hungry, we ate a few Reese's.
We walked outside, cool and prepared.
The flame in everyone's eyes all flared.
Food fight began, lemon versus cheeseball.
As lemon burnt, they began to fall.
All that was left, was a cream cheese pond.
Everyone agreed they had felt like James Bond.
Then we realized we were covered with cheese.
I shrugged and said "Hopefully it'll come out with ease."

Dark

A poem I wrote in the 11th grade...


I sit here enveloped by darkness...
The only source of light
Is a big pale white circle
Called the moon,
One of it's kind.
But it is not only that.
There is also light from lights
Creeping in, overpowering
The gentle dimness.
It is entirely too dark to see.
Just like it is in my heart, mind, body and soul.
And as I sit at the window
Trying to soak in as much light as possible,
There are just too many shadows crossing my path
Hindering my view of the inside.
Those tiny slivers of light
Are just that - too tiny.
And are not big enough to open my eyes to the inside
They are too small to eliminate the black
And as I try to bring in light
Only more dark comes instead
As hard as I may try,
Light is just not enough
It gets lost in the dark.

And there is nothing that can help it go through
Light the place up
Brighten the inside...

Everything is just dark
Everything is filled with shadows
And as light moves in
It gets enclosed in dark
The dark that envelopes me.

Julius Caesar Retold

I wrote this in the 10th grade, so please excuse it's lameness...
In case you haven't read the actual story, written by William Shakespeare, you can read it here:  http://www.literaturepage.com/read/shakespeare_juliuscaesar.html

I present to you

My 10th Grade take on Julius Caesar

Characters:
Julius Caesar - Ruler of the Roman Empire
Calpurnia - Caesar's wife
Soothsayer
(Marcus) Brutus - Caesar's good friend (senator)
Cassius - Conspirator (senator)
Mark Antony - Loyal friend to Caesar (orator)
Octavius Caesar - Caesar's nephew and adopted son
Pompey's Ghost

Other senators/conspirators:
Trebonius
Decius (Brutus)
Casca
Cinna
(Metallus) Cimber


Scene 1:

Cassius and Brutus are walking in the market place. Cassius is brainwashing Brutus into joining a conspiracy he has hatched. They see Caesar enter the market place with Mark Antony.

Previously that day, in the market place, a soothsayer had come up to Caesar and said "Beware! The Ides of March! The Ides of March!"
Caesar had ignored him and walked on.


Scene 2:

At Brutus' home, the senators conspire and plan their murder. They decide to let Mark Antony go, unharmed.


Scene 3:

The great day arrives. But Calpurnia is begging Caesar not to go to the senate house. She had been crying 'Caesar will die!' in her sleep. Her nightmares were reflected by this, as they showed a statue of Caesar, bleeding.

Calpurnia: Lord, please, please, don't go. Do not leave the safety of the house. I fear something terrible is to happen today.
Caesar: You need not worry. For when Caesar enters, all fears vanish and all evil flees. Fear itself fears Caesar.
Calpurnia: Caesar, please -
Caesar: None of that Calpurnia, but for your sake I'll stay.

<At that moment, the senators arrive, all smiles, to take him to the senate house.>

Trebonius: Come Caesar. Leave Calpurnia's dreams alone. They mean good anyway. Romans bathing in your blood to bring themselves good fortune. Nothing like it!
Caesar: I must say, I never saw it like that... Fine I'll come with you. [It's time to party!!! :P] Let us wine and dine in my honor.

<Caesar goes with them to the senate house>

Outside the house... Caesar meets the soothsayer.

Caesar (smugly): The Ides of March have come.
Soothsayer: Aye, they have come, but not gone...

Caesar enters the senate.
Cimber begs for the release of his banished brother. Caesar refuses.
The other senators request for the same.
Caesar refuses.
And then...

Casca: Speak, hands, for me!!! <stab or...>

Caesar moves to the side, grabs his hidden sword and parries.
He moves back. All the senators are closing in on him. All, that is, except for Brutus. He is thunderstruck and sort of paralyzed.
Caesar reaches the foot of the statue of Pompey. He looks up for a second and looks back at the senators.
He leaves a blow on Casca, saying, "First you, since you attempted first!"
Next he beheads Cinna and Cimber, muttering, "You are next, alphabetically!"
After that came Decius, dueling and speaking, "I wish I could spare you since you share Brutus' name but you both are in it together so..." And he lopped off Decius' head.
Trebonius rushed forward crying out "You shall pay -"
But stopped as he saw the sword pierce through his heart.
"I have paid,...through your blood." Caesar replied.

"Cassius, where are you?" called Caesar; for as the sword fighting had begun (as much as you could call it a fight), Cassius had slipped off into the shadows.
But no one could hide for long from Caesar's all-seeing eyes and he too was killed and dragged to the foot of Pompey's statue.
"Six down, one to go." muttered Caesar, and he looked up to see Pompey's ghost sitting on the statue's shoulder.

Pompey: Good moves. But really, is this all for me?
Caesar: If you want it, it's yours. Your revenge-seeking mind and bodiless soul is no match for me.
Pompey: You do realize that one other is left. And he will hold up a good fight against you.
Caesar: No one can defeat me. And he is one of my friends. Why should he harm me?
Pompey: Weren't they your friends too?
Caesar: Friends, by name.
Pompey: You also do realize that their ghosts too will haunt you, just as I do. And the fact that this event will go on with the ages.
Caesar: The future is not in my hands. But the present is... Now I will leave you and let me be.

He looks back down, his neck sore from looking up for so long. His eyes meet the gaze of Brutus'.

Caesar: Ah Brutus! Come my friend.

He realizes Brutus is looking down at the bodies and the bloody sword in his hand.

Caesar: Think not of this. I will tell you what happened. You see, as Casca came upon me, I had to block it. You know Rome needs me. But they ended up killing themselves as I dodged around. You do know they are terrible at this sport. Then Cassius rushed towards me, but he slipped on the blood and was killed by this very sword. Now, you must be thinking I did all this, but I did not, I assure you.
Brutus: No. I am actually grateful to you and am amazed you found out about our evil. I am curious. How did you know?
Caesar: Caesar knows all! Besides that, I have my ways and my people are loyal to me. Just as you are. Come let me embrace you and your loyalty.
Brutus: Yes. You are like a father to me.

They embrace. Suddenly...

Caesar: Aaaaarghhh! Et tu, Brute!?!

Brutus holds his lifeless body at the foot of Pompey's statue.

Brutus: Oh no! Father! I mean, Caesar!

Just then Mark Antony enters and sees the 'blood-lake' and Brutus holding Caesar and all the dead bodies lying in the middle. He blinks in awe and draws his sword.

Mark Antony: Can you explain yourself? <Inching closer>
Brutus: Now let me explain... <moving back>
Mark Antony: <Suddenly stops> Oh wait!... Do I have your permission to speak in the pulpit?
Brutus: Speak in the pulpit?!?! Of course you do!
Mark Antony: Sign here with your blood. <He takes out a piece of parchment and hands it to Brutus. Brutus cuts his finger and makes a thumbprint> You are now bound to this and this is proof that you have given me permission. I will speak no ill of you, and will not tell anyone the truth. Neither will I praise Caesar. <And he raises his sword>
Brutus (puzzled): Um...OK.

The last thing he felt was pain at his neck.

Mark Antony: Now it is my turn to rule! Oh yeah!


Scene 4:

Mark Antony then decides to drag all the bodies with him to the pulpit. By the time he drags all of them, it is the next day morning. People gather around to see the chaos and dead bodies arranged in a straight line.

(Mark Antony's Speech... When Mark Antony says 'honorable men', he points towards the dead senators, and to Caesar when referring to Caesar.
A link to Mark Antony' speech: http://www.literaturepage.com/read/shakespeare_juliuscaesar-44.html
Warning: It's quite long...)

There is civil unrest amongst the people, and rumors to take revenge on dead bodies spread.


Scene 5:

Mark Antony and Octavius Caesar and another guy Lepidus form the triumvirate.

[No revenge, which is sad, really... or was it already taken...]

The End